I can't find the fucking time for anything anymore.
I have this manager, he really, really doesn't live up to the name. Assholeager, Fucktardager, Pudager, Douchebagager would all suit him much better. And if the fuck were on fire I wouldn't piss or spit on him to put him out. How's that for Customer Service you sleaze? Okay, okay...he can manage some things. He can manage to get his pecker outta his pants to cheat on his wife, he can manage to rub all over a person, and he can manage to make me want to take his eyeballs out with tobasco and toothpicks.
Also, I've put in too many hours of my life in a place at a job that really isn't worth my time.
Where I am underappreciated and screwed over...and it just makes it worse that he's there. I don't need a boss I can't respect.
I should just quit and homeschool my kids. Apparently my kids are the kids "with problems", and being as how they're the kids "with problems" it doesn't matter what kind of incident happens within their orbits at school, they will be the ones to blame because they "HAVE PROBLEMS." Damnation, everyone has problems SOMETIMES.
Being the push over that I am, the normally quiet and trying to blend into the wall type, or be as small as possible type...anyway, writing was my way to vent. And I can't even do that anymore, and my head is so damn full but nothing will string together anymore as I feel it should. And it is truly shitty.
Bastian has taken to calling me baloney. That I don't care about them anymore, and durdurdurdurdur...I tell him I'm not just any friggin bologna, I am WUNDERBAR, the Cadillac of bolognas, and at least they'll never go hungry. But what he really means is that I'm so stressed I can't see anything clearly anymore. He is correct, I am pathetic. Stress makes for blown fuses and unwashed windows. Who can see anything through all that film?
So, I'll evolve. No more driving down the street wondering if Sage is safely secure enough in her car seat for me to just run into a telephone pole and have her come out A-OK. I mean, I won't actually do it. My next thought is asking myself just what in the hell is wrong with me. So there still is some small secret haven of sanity there. Just in one big ol' bay of bullshit. Movement!that is the answer! Maybe I need a hug. Maybe I need a smile. Maybe I need a roll in the hay. Maybe I need a Wunderbar sammich. With dill mustard. Capers and Lemon!
Whatever, I'll figure it out.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Vamanos!
Buttered and Toasted
all out in the SUN
But that still doesn't mean
that I am finished.
The Rain cannot deter.
The WIND, though
hard to infer,
is completely honest.
No STEELY, overly Oxidized
>fork< in my fish belly white
ASS.
This is always beating,
this is never FINISHED.
This has just shortly Begun.
And it's Green sometimes.
Sometimes Iredescent.
all out in the SUN
But that still doesn't mean
that I am finished.
The Rain cannot deter.
The WIND, though
hard to infer,
is completely honest.
No STEELY, overly Oxidized
>fork< in my fish belly white
ASS.
This is always beating,
this is never FINISHED.
This has just shortly Begun.
And it's Green sometimes.
Sometimes Iredescent.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Pink Pillowcases
Well, we may be out of a house in the near future. Long live warm weather wooo-hoooo!!!! Cos at least it's warmer now. Sometimes. Sleeping outside at night won't be so bad. Sometimes. Am I worried? No. Que sera sera.
I have a job, but it's like thirty minutes away. Only time will tell if the job will make up for the gas usage. But at least it's something!!
I also have acquired a bike. Jennifer and I were going to a track to run, and some dude had two bikes laying out in his trash heap. So we got them. Yay us! Now Jennifer just needs some wheels for hers, and mine needs several parts and it needs to be derusted. Time to learn how to fix bikes.
God Bless Sally, and Bozo, and that other one asshole.
Amen.
I have a job, but it's like thirty minutes away. Only time will tell if the job will make up for the gas usage. But at least it's something!!
I also have acquired a bike. Jennifer and I were going to a track to run, and some dude had two bikes laying out in his trash heap. So we got them. Yay us! Now Jennifer just needs some wheels for hers, and mine needs several parts and it needs to be derusted. Time to learn how to fix bikes.
God Bless Sally, and Bozo, and that other one asshole.
Amen.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Theoretical Example
Yesterday was the busiest day I've had in a while. I spent a grand total of three hours at the Capital Area Training Consortium. 45 minutes of which was in the car driving way out of my way to go retrieve a paper I wasn't told beforehand I'd need.
The boys went to the new dentist, and I had to explain to the people at the old clinic why I was changing dentists when I went to pick up the kids' xrays.
I've spent a grand total of fifty bucks on this custody stuff, five bucks for notary, $17.50 to overnight paperwork, and 25 bucks when I went and petitioned the courts a month ago. And the money for the courts was wasted because it was requested of me to type up a letter of custody consent instead of doing it the old fashioned way. My attorney said I shouldn't worry about what they want, and do it whichever way pleases me, but I don't want to hold things up any longer for some people, regardless of what they may believe. I'm just not that petty.
Anyhow, it seems as though I have been accused of a lot that I am not guilty of. I do believe that I was accused of 'abandoning' someone. Come to find out, when an environment is created or occurs where two people can not cohabitate, then when one party leaves it is NOT considered abandonment. Although adultery is considered a form of abandonment, and is also good reason for divorce. I didn't adulterate.
Also, I'm not going through a divorce without legal counsel of my own. I don't care what other people may or may not tell me, I'm still going to be absolutely positive that I am an advocate for my kids. I'm just not going to jump into something because someone else tells me I should. It's unfortunate for them that I didn't turn out to be the sheep they've accused me of being. I'm a pushover no longer. It is also unfortunate that those people became angry and resorted to childish means such as name-calling and belittling. Yes, that was very sad indeed, lol.
You know, there are some mothers out there who claim to set the perfect example of what a mother should be, but at the same time they leave their infants and toddlers unattended for long periods of time for whatever reason. And let's face it, for kids that young any amount of time is just long enough for something bad to happen. Bad things only take a second. Or, and this is really ludicrous, they claim that their own mothers are crackheads, but then they send their kids to them for weeks at a time. And I'm not saying grandma lives just around the corner, oh no, grandma might possibly live hours and hours away.
It was stated that I am a hypocrite, oh that really made me laugh. Really. I'm not striving for the adhesiveness of a paradigm, I'd so much rather be a paragon. Whether or not that will ever happen for me, only time will tell. Or does someone ever completely reach that status? Really? Or is it the whole rather than a part? A lifetime of plodding on and trying, and doing what's right when one can? So yeah, I'd much rather be a paragon, I think, rather than the other. Which says at times that it's an excellent example when that in fact may only be theory. Theoretically speaking, that's just too wishy washy for me. The formula for that adhesive is just too faulty in theory.
I have everything printed out and neatly filed away. Everything. Blogs that may or may not have been written with me in mind. Many, many messages and my replies. And that's another thing. I read blogs, and yes, some of them are obviously directed at harming my character. Obviously. But I'm told I have no right to think that those things were written about me. But yet, some of the authors of those blogs read mine and assume that they are about them. You know, even reposts from months and months ago. Hilarious, that is. Also, just quite a bit hypocritical perhaps.
The boys went to the new dentist, and I had to explain to the people at the old clinic why I was changing dentists when I went to pick up the kids' xrays.
I've spent a grand total of fifty bucks on this custody stuff, five bucks for notary, $17.50 to overnight paperwork, and 25 bucks when I went and petitioned the courts a month ago. And the money for the courts was wasted because it was requested of me to type up a letter of custody consent instead of doing it the old fashioned way. My attorney said I shouldn't worry about what they want, and do it whichever way pleases me, but I don't want to hold things up any longer for some people, regardless of what they may believe. I'm just not that petty.
Anyhow, it seems as though I have been accused of a lot that I am not guilty of. I do believe that I was accused of 'abandoning' someone. Come to find out, when an environment is created or occurs where two people can not cohabitate, then when one party leaves it is NOT considered abandonment. Although adultery is considered a form of abandonment, and is also good reason for divorce. I didn't adulterate.
Also, I'm not going through a divorce without legal counsel of my own. I don't care what other people may or may not tell me, I'm still going to be absolutely positive that I am an advocate for my kids. I'm just not going to jump into something because someone else tells me I should. It's unfortunate for them that I didn't turn out to be the sheep they've accused me of being. I'm a pushover no longer. It is also unfortunate that those people became angry and resorted to childish means such as name-calling and belittling. Yes, that was very sad indeed, lol.
You know, there are some mothers out there who claim to set the perfect example of what a mother should be, but at the same time they leave their infants and toddlers unattended for long periods of time for whatever reason. And let's face it, for kids that young any amount of time is just long enough for something bad to happen. Bad things only take a second. Or, and this is really ludicrous, they claim that their own mothers are crackheads, but then they send their kids to them for weeks at a time. And I'm not saying grandma lives just around the corner, oh no, grandma might possibly live hours and hours away.
It was stated that I am a hypocrite, oh that really made me laugh. Really. I'm not striving for the adhesiveness of a paradigm, I'd so much rather be a paragon. Whether or not that will ever happen for me, only time will tell. Or does someone ever completely reach that status? Really? Or is it the whole rather than a part? A lifetime of plodding on and trying, and doing what's right when one can? So yeah, I'd much rather be a paragon, I think, rather than the other. Which says at times that it's an excellent example when that in fact may only be theory. Theoretically speaking, that's just too wishy washy for me. The formula for that adhesive is just too faulty in theory.
I have everything printed out and neatly filed away. Everything. Blogs that may or may not have been written with me in mind. Many, many messages and my replies. And that's another thing. I read blogs, and yes, some of them are obviously directed at harming my character. Obviously. But I'm told I have no right to think that those things were written about me. But yet, some of the authors of those blogs read mine and assume that they are about them. You know, even reposts from months and months ago. Hilarious, that is. Also, just quite a bit hypocritical perhaps.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Assume the hyperbolic position
Reading this? Why? It is a me claimed to not exist. This is honest. Not hypocritical in the least. But isn't the reading of this blog'o shit hypocritical?
Here things are defined. Metaphors do abound, yes, but I THINK in the straight and true sandwiched between metaphors. Condiments of metaphors. Metaphorical vegetables.
Oh please, those so high and mighty. Yell as much as is required to make feeling good a reality. Lie as much for the same reasons. Leave out just enough to make it seem right. Definition of hypocrisy is as follows 1) pretending to be what one is not, as good or virtuous; simulating feeling one does not experience. Much thanks to Webster's.
Do as I say not as I do, indeed? Harumph!!!, the bullshit just makes me laugh. I can only think of the effort involved in attempting to discredit or get a reaction. It reminds me of Sage's behaviour. That two-year-old two-step danced loudly so as to attract attention.
Here things are defined. Metaphors do abound, yes, but I THINK in the straight and true sandwiched between metaphors. Condiments of metaphors. Metaphorical vegetables.
Oh please, those so high and mighty. Yell as much as is required to make feeling good a reality. Lie as much for the same reasons. Leave out just enough to make it seem right. Definition of hypocrisy is as follows 1) pretending to be what one is not, as good or virtuous; simulating feeling one does not experience. Much thanks to Webster's.
Do as I say not as I do, indeed? Harumph!!!, the bullshit just makes me laugh. I can only think of the effort involved in attempting to discredit or get a reaction. It reminds me of Sage's behaviour. That two-year-old two-step danced loudly so as to attract attention.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Still Life
I really don't think that it should have to get much more complicated than this. There are only so many ways to eat a hot dog, after all.Monday, March 30, 2009
wonderment popcorn
four reasons
(a zillion per diem questions)
to place foot upon darkened floor
and have the other follow it,
and to find the steel to make
wine from innuendos.
the flailing and railing of
of eight embryonic fists,
with wise blood of time coursing
through infinitesimal passages.
soprano, tenor, alto chorus,
in answering, echoes with
"Sometimes, it causes me to tremble..."
hereditary prows; upturned or pointy,
scenting out beacons, ever-sailing
salty, spraying, seasonal seas...
with heaps of potential
to helm vast enterprises.
so astonishing in presence!
like massive mysteries
stowed away in shoeboxes,
or behemoths living in teaspoons.
none has any idea
how i've loved you altogether...
all since you were nought but rumors.
(a zillion per diem questions)
to place foot upon darkened floor
and have the other follow it,
and to find the steel to make
wine from innuendos.
the flailing and railing of
of eight embryonic fists,
with wise blood of time coursing
through infinitesimal passages.
soprano, tenor, alto chorus,
in answering, echoes with
"Sometimes, it causes me to tremble..."
hereditary prows; upturned or pointy,
scenting out beacons, ever-sailing
salty, spraying, seasonal seas...
with heaps of potential
to helm vast enterprises.
so astonishing in presence!
like massive mysteries
stowed away in shoeboxes,
or behemoths living in teaspoons.
none has any idea
how i've loved you altogether...
all since you were nought but rumors.
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